Today was a very stressful bz bz day at work...was so scared that i'd get only 1/2 ma shipment....but....i got it all..and sent it off on time too...i feel sooo damm good! yeah Zebbie!!! *pats ma own back*
last few days....been goin through mixed emotions...been speakin to some one i promised maself i wouldn't b in contact wid....ever..... its all a case of "difficult to forgive...impossible to forget".
Sometimes i have a hard time finding direction....and i feel lost even before i start looking...and then i decided....why bother lookin.....i rather just stand here...waitin....than gettin lost in the crowd....why plan..why hope....it never really happens...nuthin ever happenes....in the words of John Lennon "life happens when you're busy making plans"....so i say...fuck the plans....i dont wanna b crushed....just wanna live life one day at a time...."..once you let go of the wheel...u might just end up where you belong.."
i've found maself to b in LOVE again...and i HATE it....the years have only taught me that "love wounds in a way that does not let you live or die" ...and i just wish....for once....i could be seen....but so far....i find that...."..i'm just a disposable pleasure and not a meaningful pursuit.."
just wish....4 once....it could b me....that i could b the one....and i often wonder...."can a heart still break once it's stopped beating?"..cause i feel dead inside.....
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